Lady Deadpool & The Green Hornet
by LadyDeadpool007
Summary: Lady Deadpool decides to spend the night on the town with the "cool guys."


**The Green Hornet**

_Sometimes you need the job done right the first time. You can't just hire anybody to do the dirty work. That is why you hire Lady Deadpool! A merc with a mouth, wooer of men's hearts, crazier than a cat in a sack, and works great with others! (Sometimes…)_

I was leaning against a wall, in a smelly alley way, in the warehouse district, waiting for my entertainment of the night to arrive. I had sent an email to the person I was waiting for, saying where to meet up and have a little chat. So far, there had been no sign of them arriving and that really made me get impatient.

(Are you sure this is where we need to be?)

[Yeah, we've been here waiting and they haven't arrived!]

"They could just be fashionably late, like we are to meet-ups," I said. I looked up and down the alley way one more time just to make sure they were not sneaking up on me.

[But we are missing my favorite show! I have to see who gets voted off American Idol!]

(I hope it isn't that one guy with the awesome hair style.)

"Yeah, me too," I said. "We should try that hair style out one day," I mused.

A bright green light flashed on the right side of the alley way. I stand up straight from leaning against the wall and turn to look at where the light came from, a black car with green headlights was parked at the end of the alley way.

I casually start walking towards the car, till a pair of rockets popup from the top of the hood.

I stop in my tracks. "Wow, that is so cool," I said staring only at the rockets, not noticing a man get out of the driver seat of the car.

"Don't touch," said the man in broken English. I pull my hand away from the rockets and look at the guy. He was wearing a black suit with a green tie, a dark green mask covering his eyes, and a black taxi cab hat.

"You must be Lady Deadpool," said another man in normal English. He had gotten out of the passenger seat and looked much more pimped out than the car driver. He had a longer black jacket with a lighter green tie, a dark green mask covering his eyes, like the driver, but he wore no hat.

"Yep, that's me," I said trying to look as cool as these guys, but that was impossible.

(Wow, we should get a car like that! Then we wouldn't need to ride the subway or the bus anymore!)

[We don't do that! We use our teleporting and that is way cooler than a car with rockets…ok, maybe not.]

"I'm The Green Hornet," said the pimped out guy. "This is Kato," he gestured towards the driver. "You asked us to meet us here. You are lucky we even showed up."

"This better not be some joke," said Kato.

"Oh, I assure you guys this is no joke," I said. "I've been given the task of finding you, Green Hornet, and killing you." The look on these guys' faces turned grim.

"But lucky for you I am not going to." I smiled.

"Who sent you," said The Green Hornet.

"Yeah, I don't know the guy formally, but I know his name is D.A. something or other," I said with a light tone.

"D.A. Frank Scanlon," said The Green Hornet with a sudden realization to Kato. Kato nodded as if I told you so. "Did he say why he wanted us dead?"

"I would tell you, but that is a client confidentiality type thing," I said. "But I can say he really really really wants you dead."

They stare at me. "No joke."

"And why are you not going to kill us? He isn't paying you enough," asked The Green Hornet disgusted.

"That is one reason," I roll my eyes. "But I have another reason. You two do a lot of good for your town and that makes me sick, but…at the same time you break the law and whatever the fudge you want. I salute that." I salute.

"And I have to say I would love to help you guys make some trouble. I'm kinda the queen of making trouble." I smile and place a hand on my hip.

"That is it," The Green Hornet said. "You won't kill us because you want to 'cause trouble' with us?"

"This is a joke," said Kato.

"A waste of our time," The Green Hornet said frowning. "We have better things to do, but thank you for telling us Scanlon is after our deaths. If you have any more information about him please contact us again."

"Through an email," said Kato.

"We can't meet like this again," said The Green Hornet.

"Wait," I said, I pulled out my gun from my hip holster and point it at Kato. "I've changed my mind. I think I should just kill you guys and get my money even if it is a million dollars. You guys are really great and I know we would be such great buddies!

"Too bad it has to come down to this," I frown.

"What do you want in return for not killing us," The Green Hornet said annoyed.

"A night to remember," I said smiling. "Let's go kick some old ladies, behead statues, or pick on fat police officers…I would appreciate it so much."

"Too bad we are in no position to agree," said The Green Hornet. "We are too busy and you are just getting in our way."

The Green Hornet looks over at Kato and nods his head. "Finish her off."

"Pft, what's a short Chinese man going to do?" I push down on the trigger at Kato. He evades it by doing some kind of awesome matrix move.

"Whoa, that was so bad-ass! You have to show me how to do-"

Kato grabbed my hand and twisted my wrist to let go of my gun.

I dropped the gun, but with my other hand I reach behind me and grab my sword.

I swing it at him, but he punches my torso with a quick jab pushing me out of range to slice him.

I land with my back against the wall. He comes towards me ready to punch the living day lights out of my face, but I side kick him to the left.

He falls on the ground, but jumps up quickly and does a karate stance.

"It takes a lot more to get rid of me," said Kato. He runs to me, I try to evade him, but he punches my side and I fall on the floor.

He quickly jabs my torso and punches my face. I punch back, but he deflects it off with a wave of his hand, twists my arm, and dislocates my elbow joint.

"Jerk," I yell. I reach with my other hand for my other gun, but he twists that elbow out of joint also.

Kato stands up and backs away from me. The Green Hornet was standing above me with a strange gun pointed at me. "This will knock you out for about an hour or so," he said. "Send a message to Scanlon, 'he has to try harder than a crazy woman to kill me."

"Oh, come on, I wasn't really going to kill you guys," I tried laughing it off.

"It was nice meeting you," The Green Hornet said.

The next thing I knew, he shot a green puff of smoke on my face, knocking me out.

[I told you! They wouldn't listen to you!]

(Nobody ever takes us seriously!)

[Next time, we should come up with a better threat. Lying about being sent to kill a person doesn't work like it used to anymore.]

(Right, because threatening to kill or hang out with a person will always be sooo life threatening.)

"I hate you little voices."


End file.
